Shit happens, and back in late May it hit me in a bad way. Almost strange that I'm still around, but apparently
Being in need of “repair” at my age, is one thing. But that I was literally walking on the edge of the grave as
I left bed that monday morning in late may, was not what I expected.
Oh well … been there before, and am likely to be there again before I finally go. Would be strange otherwise.
what actually happened…
Main blood vessels to the lower part of my body got clogged up, and, literally, from one moment to the next I lost most of the
sensation and muscle control in both legs and lower body from waist down. Pretty debilitating to say the least, and at first
I was not sure how bad it was as it was not really painful or anything.
It was as if the lower half of my body had fallen asleep, somewhat like the sensation of having an arm or a leg sometimes
“fall asleep” because of restricted blood flow. Only this was half my body feeling like that. I could not move properly,
let alone walk, and it did not change over time, at least not for the better.
Within hours I got a more complete picture, and grasped what was going on, as my body literally told me that this could turn
out to be really bad, or worse – deadly serious that is. As I recognised the signs from about
a decade ago, I knew this could go either way. However, I chose to focus on getting help with the immediate home and farm
tasks before bothering with whether I made it or not.
Felt kind of strange to observe and keep track of my own condition as it slowly changed throughout the day, as I was
relaxing as well as I possibly could while trying to make sure things around me was in good, working, order.
As noted in side notes; I spent a few days at home preparing for my absence, before contacting medical services. Must have been in
that short period that I managed to damage my left leg and thereby add weeks to my sick leave. Have no clear idea how, and when, that
break a leg…
To literally break a leg, is usually followed by some pain. But, as I can not feel much of anything (for real) in that part of
my left leg thanks to all the nerves that got cut during the (first) operation to remove bloodclots 9 years ago, I simply have no clear ide about when exactly I broke the fibula (see
Not that an exact point in time for that incident matters much now. The bone is broken, and I have to give it time to heal whether
I have time for such matters or not.
Otherwise that leg gives me more than enough pain now, as the phantom-pain I have felt in that foot/leg from time to time for
the last 9 years, and that had weakened to hardly noticeable most of the time, has now come back in full force and then some.
Dealing with that now more or less constant sensation of pain in its many inexplicable variants as impulses from damaged nerves hit the brain,
combined with the side-effects of the various pain-relief medication they are testing on me on top, makes staying in a good
mood a little hard at times. For reasons explained above, I can not simply “walk it off”
as is and has been my method of choice when dealing with such phantom pain before.
Being out of action, is boring, boring, and even more “boring”. I am not a good and patient patient, and see no
point in pretending to be one.
Haven't taken my less than optimal state of mind too much out on the staff at the various places I have been at though, although my
already pretty rich vocabulary do at times get somewhat affected – “enriched” if you like – by failed
attempts at medical relief from those phantom pains when they hit too hard and keep on hitting for too long.
The service and care at the nursing home is pretty good – one might say “excellent”, but such places are not well suited
for people like me regardless of our condition, and I would of course rather be home. Have to get get out of this
wheelchair first though, so at least a few more days…
I am writing this while sitting in a wheelchair at the nursing home in Mandal town – about five minutes drive
from my own home. Pretty OK i-net connection here, so after all not too bad to be patient for a while despite being
Lately they have even rearranged the furniture in my room, and provided me with
a functional “office-space” from which I can stay in touch with the world and releave some of my boredom.
Now and then I get wheeled to the local store so I can stock up on food I am used to – for my overall
wellbeing, and then also often get offered a trip around in the neighborhood to kill some time. Some well-kept park
areas near by that are well worth a visit in good weather.
home for the weekend…
Left the nursing home in the afternoon of August 05, to spend the weekend at home. The plan is to test out how well I can
function around the house with only one good leg, with the simplest of equipment at hand, and medical personnel on short visits twice
Around midnight while writing this, I can conclude that “so far so good”. I get around well
enough to satisfy my basic needs, without risking worsening my medical status. All just takes longer, which in itself isn't much of
a problem the way things are.
As all medical tests, x-rays, etc. indicate that I likely will stay out of action for months, staying at home between hospital
visits for check-ups and possible surgeries makes most sense – if my plan works out that is. The local medical expertise is not quite
sure if my plan will work out as I envision. Me neither, but in a few days we will all find out.
After having spent the weekend at home, and having so few problems with getting around in the house and performing
essential tasks, I conclude that my little plan works for me and my wife. From here onwards it is only a question about how well
it will work for the health care administration and others we have to cooperate with until I am back on both my
Now (Aug.12) we are into the “planning ahead” phase for autumn and winter, and very little of that belong in the
public sphere. So, enough writing on the subject, for now.