out of action
Shit happens, and back in late May it hit me in a bad way. Almost strange that I'm still around, but apparently I am.
Being in need of “repair” at my age, is one thing. But that I was literally walking on the edge of the grave as
I left bed that monday morning in late may, was not what I expected.
Oh well … been there before, and am likely to be there again before I finally go. Would be strange otherwise.
what actually happened…
Main blood vessels to the lower part of my body got clogged up, and, literally, from one moment to the next I lost most of the
sensation and muscle control in both legs and lower body from waist down. Pretty debilitating to say the least, and at first
I was not sure how bad it was as it was not really painful or anything.
It was as if the lower half of my body had fallen asleep, somewhat like the sensation of having an arm or a leg sometimes “fall asleep” because of restricted blood flow. Only this was half my body feeling like that. I could not move properly, let alone walk, and it did not change over time, at least not for the better.
Within hours I got a more complete picture, and grasped what was going on, as my body literally told me that this could turn out to be really bad, or worse – deadly serious that is. As I recognised the signs from about a decade ago, I knew this could go either way. However, I chose to focus on getting help with the immediate home and farm tasks before bothering with whether I made it or not.
Felt kind of strange to observe and keep track of my own condition as it slowly changed throughout the day, as I was relaxing as well as I possibly could while trying to make sure things around me was in good, working, order.
As noted in side notes; I spent a few days at home preparing for my absence, before contacting medical services. Must have been in that short period that I managed to damage my left leg and thereby add weeks, or rather months, to my sick leave. Have no clear idea how, and when, that all happened.
break a leg…
To literally break a leg, is usually followed by some pain. But, as I can not feel much of anything (for real) in that part of
my left leg thanks to all the nerves that got cut during the (first) operation to remove bloodclots 9 years ago, I simply have no clear idea about when exactly I broke the fibula (see
Not that an exact point in time for that incident matters much now. The bone is broken, and I have to give it time to heal whether I have time for such matters or not.
Otherwise that leg gives me more than enough pain now, as the phantom-pain I have felt in that foot/leg from time to time for
the last 9 years, and that had weakened to hardly noticeable most of the time, has now come back in full force and then some.
Dealing with that now more or less constant sensation of pain in its many inexplicable variants as impulses from damaged nerves hit the brain, combined with the side-effects of the various pain-relief medication they are testing on me on top, makes staying in a good mood a little hard at times. For reasons explained above, I can not simply “walk it off” as is and has been my method of choice when dealing with such phantom pain before.
Being out of action, is boring, boring, and even more “boring”. I am not a good and patient patient, and see no
point in pretending to be one.
Haven't taken my less than optimal state of mind too much out on the staff at the various places I have been at though, although my already pretty rich vocabulary do at times get somewhat affected – “enriched” if you like – by failed attempts at medical relief from those phantom pains when they hit too hard and keep on hitting for too long with no respites.
The service and care at the nursing home is pretty good – one might say “excellent”, but such places are not well suited for people like me regardless of our condition, and I would of course rather be home. Have to get get out of this wheelchair first though, so at least a few more days…
I am writing this while sitting in a wheelchair at the nursing home in Mandal town – about five minutes drive from my own home. Pretty OK i-net connection here, so after all not too bad to be patient for a while despite being seriously bored.
Lately they have even rearranged the furniture in my room, and provided me with
a functional “office-space” from which I can stay in touch with the world and releave some of my boredom.
Now and then I get wheeled to the local store so I can stock up on food I am used to – for my overall wellbeing, and then also often get offered a trip around in the neighborhood to kill some time. Some well-kept park areas near by that are well worth a visit in good weather.
home for the weekend…
Left the nursing home in the afternoon of August 05, to spend the weekend at home. The plan is to test out how well I can
function around the house with only one good leg, with the simplest of equipment at hand, and medical personnel on short visits twice
Around midnight while writing this, I can conclude that “so far so good”. I get around well enough to satisfy my basic needs, without risking worsening my medical status. All just takes longer, which in itself isn't much of a problem the way things are.
As all medical tests, x-rays, etc. indicate that I likely will stay out of action for months, staying at home between hospital visits for check-ups and possible surgeries makes most sense – if my plan works out that is. The local medical expertise is not quite sure if my plan will work out as I envision. Me neither, but in a few days we will all find out.
After having spent the weekend at home, and having so few problems with getting around in the house and performing essential tasks, I conclude that my little plan works for me and my wife. From here onwards it is only a question about how well it will work for the health care administration and others we have to cooperate with until I am back on both my feet.
following a slow healing process…
The unusually slow healing of my broken leg-bone is somewhat depressing, but as there is nothing I can do to speed up the process I try not to think about it and not complain too much. Short notes follow…
(12.aug.2022) Now we are into the “planning ahead” phase for autumn and winter on the farm, and very little of that belong in the public sphere. So, enough writing on the subject, for now.
(16.sep.2022) As I write mid September, I still spend most of the time I am awake in a wheelchair. Training to get around on crutches, and have been driving around the yard on the old J.D. Gator. Can not do any real farmwork yet, but at least I am home.
(29.oct.2022) Have reached the end of October, and am trying to perform some of the
daily farm routines – like feeding our cows and such, while avoiding overstressing my broken leg. Healing is irritatingly
slow, but will take even longer if I add to the damage by acting carelessly.
Next check-up at the hospital should be in a couple of weeks time.
(22.nov.2022) Yesterday (21.nov) I spent the entire day and well past midnight
on medical check-ups. Started at my GP's office, followed by a long stay at the hospital's emergency department. All caused by
a tiny tear in the skin at my left leg that had opened for an infection – the result of the medical home assistants ending
the treatment with special ointment to keep the skin soft and flexible about a month back. Should never have happened…
Left with prescription for a 7 day cure of antibiotics to prevent the infection from spreading and hampering the healing of the broken bone.
(02.dec.2022) Have spent two nights at the hospital (from 29.nov to 01.dec), for
heavy intravenous medication and a blocking-out procedure to improve bloodflow in left leg. According to
the specialists this seemed to be the best way to ensure healing of the bone despite the ongoing infection.
I definitely can feel the positive effect of increased bloodflow in my leg, as the more or less constant pain at daytime is significantly reduced, and at times it is almost gone. By now I have had a couple of good nights' sleep without being woken up by pain after an hour or so, and that the pain comes back when I get in a more upright position – in the wheelchair mostly, is as expected.
As I understand it: to increase the bloodflow by blocking out an old
restriction in an artery higher up in the leg, was not what was originally planned. They had wanted to
let the bone heal in its own good time with the restriction left in place, but the skin-tear which opened up for an infection
increased the risk for it all going bad and ending in leg-amputation.
I sure do not like even the thought of ending up with an artificial leg, so I'll go for almost anything to avoid it. The added medication over the next six months or so to make the blocking-out of the artery last, is not a problem.
With only a few days experience with the effects of this change in medical procedure, all seems and feels good and I sure hope it continues this way.
(06.dec.2022) In a few hours a taxi will take me to the hospital again, to continue treatment where we left off the last time (see above). Have experienced some serious bursts of pain in the leg at times, but not worse than what I have felt before the blocking-out procedure.
(08-10.dec.2022) Spent two nights at the hospital, where they via CT scans and various other tests concluded that extreme pain and sleepless nights was caused by the increased bloodflow to the leg. Skinwound was treated, and lower leg wrapped in a compression bandage. Leg is extremely sensitive to touch, but according to the doctors I now can put full bodyweight on it and begin to walk again. Not that the pain caused by simply touching the floor allows for much walking just yet, but it's a start.
(27.jan.2023) For about two months now nearly all focus has been on treatment of the
wound that opened up on my left foot back in mid November. Two seven-days cures with antibiotics, and one that lasted over ten days,
with change of bandages at least two times a week at home or at the hospital. The treatment (as they literally dug out infected and
damaged tissue from the wound) has been quite painful at times, but lately (as the wound has been healing somewhat) it has not been too
More along practical lines: I have taken over one of the two daily feedings of our cows by now, despite my limited ability to walk, and feel good about the progress over the last couple of weeks.
(13.feb.2023) For about a week now I have taken care of all operations related to farmwork this time of year, on my own. Slow and clumsy going with the heavily bandaged leg in the specially tailored boot, but I do get around nearly everywhere locally, and manage to get the various jobs done to my satisfaction, without running the risk of causing further damage to myself, the various machines, or other beings on our farm.
exempt from public disclosure…
All I have written above is from now on of less interest to me, as, for reasons that are exempt from public disclosure by Norwegian law, I no
longer am the receiver of any medical treatment for my condition(s).
The last checkup and replacement of bandages for the skintear/wound on my left foot from the Norwegian Health services, was performed at the hospital on February 28. My own choice given the situation I have ended up in.
How things go from here, is anybody's guess. I sure do not know.
The wound looks so small and unimportant on pictures taken during my last hospital-visit on 28 of February, but as entry-point for infections it could have cost me my leg according to the medical experts who have been treating me up to this point. And as things are; untreated it can still cost me my life.
What started as a tiny (totally preventable) crack in the skin around the time when my broken bone had
healed well enough for light walking, grew to leave a very large area skinless (still traces of how large area that was infected visible on
those pictures), and is now reduced to that small, red, area you see, thanks to heavy and pretty painful treatment and several
antibiotic-cures. All over an about four months period as described on this page – what a waste of time.
The medical crew at the hospital and home care are delighted with the healing progress, while I as mentioned have lost interest in it for reasons outside my control. At times I actually regret calling the doctor back in May 2022, as if I hadn't made those calls my life had been over in days/weeks no matter what with the condition I had, and all would have been good from my point of view (or lack of same from 6 feet under).
It is better to stand and fight. If you run, you'll only die tired.
— A Viking Saying
As I, according to the Norwegian authorities and their laws on the matters, am prevented from presenting the complete set of reasons for this very abrupt turn-around in my life perspective, I maybe should have laid the entire issue dead and not written about it, or maybe have dropped this section altogether. However, if time and life allows, I will expand a bit more on what is going on around me right now, and why I choose to write about it.
the treatment continues…
As of March 17 I am back on treatments at the hospital, while treatment at home in between hospital visits is still entirely up to me and what I can and choose to do. Sounds a bit confusing, I know, but the various health service systems I have to deal with work in “mysterious” and very bureaucratic ways, and I can't be bothered to argue with them about my case for the time being.
The 15 days pause away from all medical treatments, allowed me to get other matters somewhat under control. It also gave me a chance to look into, and reflect on, how things work in the various health service systems in my country. All very useful for someone like me, who choose to not deal with the health services unless I really have to.
At this stage I have no problems with performing the clean-up and redressing procedures of
my leg-wound myself, with infrequent visits to the hospital to make sure the healing continues to go well and I haven't
My leg is far from painfree, but most of what hurts now seems to be related to the cut and damaged nerves in that leg that have caused me pain for many years. Some strong painkillers now and then take care of the worst.
last rev: 20.may.2023