having dreams is nice
… living out our dreams is nicer.
Most have at least had dreams once about how life should be, and often a strong wish to realize some of those dreams. Life's reality takes over much too early for most “dreamers” though, with the result that most dreams are doomed to remain dreams until they are given up on for good.
Fear of failing in front of others, is often the (only) reason people push dreams aside and instead choose to follow the mainstream down hill. One must of course admit that it is much easier to fail along with all others than to take the chances of failing alone, but it sounds pathetic.
How about you? What happened to your dreams? Did you live them out
… at least in part?
And when you have the chance to speak up, how does your advices come through to others who are seriously wondering whether they should follow their dreams or not?
So easy to say to others that they should live their dreams no matter what. Or conversely; that they should forget all their dreams – that they would only cause damage and make fools of themselves by trying to live them out.
Why Bother? What is there to gain by taking the inherent risks of leaving the crowd?
I am sure you get the meaning.
dream big … what is there to lose?
Believe me, I have received all kinds of advices from others regarding realization of dreams, and the further from the mainstream my dreams seemed to take me, the more negative advices I received.
Not to mention the many “I could have told you so” that came my way when something lead to failure. And, not much was uttered by the same people when I celebrated successes.
Yes, I have lived my dreams. A whole chain of dreams in fact, and some were
pretty far out.
Most of my dreams turned out exactly as intended, or better. Some I clearly failed on, and in the wake of one failure I paid what most people would say is a pretty hefty price. Myself, I am not so sure anymore…
I have also passed on some dreams, thinking at the time that they were not worth
the risk. If I have any regrets in life, passing on dreams may be it.
I do however in hindsight see that, for all but a couple I seem to have passed on the right ones – those I would have had nothing to gain from, neither at the time nor later. All in all, my judgments at the time were not bad.
My many minor successes felt good at the time, but such emotional rewards are in my experience short lived and of limited value. Once a goal was reached I was on track for the next, having little time to “stop and smell the roses”.
Luckily my memories about successful realization of dreams have faded considerably with time. I fear some of them might have held me back now otherwise.
My failures do in hindsight neither feel like, nor seem to have come through as, actual failures. And, the heavy price I had to pay for my worst failure, wasn't really much when measured up against the many lasting gains my various failures have lead to.
I am in fact still very much living my dreams, because of my failures and not despite of them. I hate to think about where, and what, I might have been today had I actually succeeded in all my attempts over the years … What a nightmare life would have been then.
With the advantage of hindsight, my “failed realizations” might be worth repeating just to once more experience the positive effects the ones behind me have had on my life.
Yeah, sounds crazy I know…
a lost dream…
When I set out on my greatest adventure: to start and run my own business in mechatronic automation and prototyping, I chose to carry everything alone except for involving a couple of professional business partners.
It was of course the perfect recipe for a lonely life – no-one to share anything with, and that in itself increased the risk for failure.
Being alone did at least minimize the need for others to carry the burden and risks with me, which was good since eventually I did fail. Or rather: I became ill and unable to carry on.
In hindsight it can be seen that my breakdown was mainly the result of
a sneaking medical condition I did
not realize I had acquired until it was way too late to do anything about it.
On top of that I had been burning my light at both ends for years. I was still young then, and I have never been a proponent for leaving projects unfinished.
I was reduced to what can best be characterized as “a physical and mental wreck” … an awful state to be in.
I was barely able to take care of myself, and definitely not able to run a business
– especially not a business as time-consuming and demanding as mine.
Having no options left I “ran home” to my mom and dad. They took care of me over the next couple of years, until I (again) became able to take care of them. Thanks.
Incredible how many “I could have told you so” comments I received in the wake of my breakdown, and also comments along the lines that I “would have been so much better off if I hadn't embarked on the risky journey towards where my dreams pointed at the time”.
Well, you do not say … Thank you so very much for telling me the obvious. I tried, and I failed … what is your excuse?
No doubt life would have been much easier in many ways if I had kept my health and private economy intact. But despite that, I have never found any real reasons to regret that I tried to follow my dream, even if that journey did end in total failure.
I can vividly remember that long stretches of the journey were absolutely
fantastic. Only the last year before I accepted defeat was, for the most part,
“hell on earth” for me, mainly because I didn't grasp what was going on
Neither did anybody else at the time, but many uttered opinions that hurt….
In hindsight I am rather proud of myself for keeping at it for as long as I did, despite everything that (I later found out) worked against me. Because I somehow managed to end it when and where I did, transfer of my business problems onto others was to a large degree avoided.
That there were others who eagerly grabbed the opportunity to throw their problems on top of mine while I was down, is a “lesson in humanity” I would not mind having been without.
This “lesson” made everything much harder, but I survived that too. Not sure if they did though – been a long time since I paid attention to anyone in those circles.
Took years to restore health and figure out both if, and how, to go on with life. Took even longer to repair the damage inside and around me.
Through all this I resisted the temptation to form serious personal relations – get someone to lean on. Think I managed to pass without hurting anyone.
I did kind of alright on my own, until the day I met a very special lady who – in addition to all else she was – had
the integrity and strength to handle me and what I had become.
Passing on her simply was not on my list of options…
The entire “lost dream” experience and all it has given me, simply can not be valued high enough in money. And now all that is all mine, for life.
And what a dream-life I'm living!
never mind the quotes
Quotes are alright reminders, but not much to build lives on. Besides, we all can come
up with better quotes than these, based on our own dreams.
Why not go through your very personal dreams, and try to figure out which dreams you regret the most not having tried to live out. I am positive that you can find ways to realize many of your dreams, without losing anything but the fear of failing in the process.
And, do not put if off till later, again. “Later” may not come early enough to make a difference.
I have been living my dreams for years now, and aim to be at it till the day I die. A little up and down along the way, many delays, and also quite a few compromises here and there – I am after all not alone anymore.
Looking back over the last two decades or so, I am quite happy with how closely I have been able to follow my dreams. It is great when even factors and incidents that can not be seen in advance, end up close to, and sometimes even better than, what I have in my dreams and subsequently have planned for.
One thing I have learned from my “lost dream” experience, is to avoid sharing details with anyone – beyond what is absolutely necessary for realization at the time. Keeping most to myself greatly reduces the risk for interference.
Not even my wife knows my entire dream sequence, despite the fact that she, and all she stands for, is such an important part of it. People around me have no need to know details before I am about to enter the various realization stages. People further away should ideally not know anything at any stage, unless I deliberately choose to involve them.
I also feel confident that Gunlaug finds plenty space for her own dreams. Our relationship would otherwise not have worked so well for so long. And, I know she will speak up if one of my dream-projects doesn't play out to her advantage…
We are for instance on the home-stretch of realizing one of her decades old dreams right now, as we finish up our home restoration and improvement project. It will be an almost perfect blend of two people's matured dreams, and from there we can go on to the next, and the next, and….
06.feb.2016 - correcting typos
last rev: 06.feb.2016